John: You're listening to The Present Professional, where we explore the intersections of personal and professional development.

John: To change your experience of life and work with every episode.

Tony: So tune in, grab your notebook, and let's go. Let's go.

John: Welcome to another episode of the present professional today. We want to talk to you about a topic that's been close to our hearts and a topic that I feel has led us into many interesting places in our lives. And I feel like also led us to one another. And you know, that's the, the process of engaging the flow of life. And, you know, this isn't just thinking that there are no coincidences, but it's, you know, how to engage with the coincidences that occur in your life, you know, how to engage with the subtle messages, whether it be from the universe, from God, from a friend, from your network, you know, what is it and how are you answering the call to something different? Right. And this has been something that has led me to the life that I lead today. And I'll never forget. Just, it felt like there was a moment when I decided that my life was just a combination of experiences. And you know, how much am I going to diversify my experiences? Just say, you know what, let me throw myself in and see what happens. And you know, each time that I've done that, things have come out beautifully. Right. And, you know, there was one time I'm thinking of when I met you, Tony, I said, you know, I want to get into more philanthropy work. So I just went online and was like, let me just pick out, let me just pick out one of, you know, one of these events. Let me pick out another event, like something to go to something to, to check out. I saw your event on there and I was like, you know what? I don't know anyone. I go by myself. This sounds sweet. The millennial think tank. I was like, think tank. And now that is something, you know, the career choice that I've never pursued, but like something I would really, really thoroughly enjoy. So that's why I went right to it. And then there you were. And then there we were engaged the whole time. It was basically a conversation between us, 80% of the whole think tank. And now here we are, having conversations every week, at least.

Tony: Still think tanking. Right? Right. Yeah. And then, I mean, that's that's that's it. You know, and even for me thinking about how I even got to that point, you know, that's a whole, you know, timeline. But it's just so many so many things. I wonder. Thinking back, I wonder at what point I just leaned in, leaned totally into where I do, I guess, and where I am. I mean, I think a lot of it is by force of nature from God, as you mentioned. And some of it, I think, started with having probably a really micro, hyper focus on community service in some way. I will never forget, and I probably said this before on the show, that when I was in high school, I was a senior, I was about to graduate, and one of my mentors at the time, still a great mentor, Brian Allen, he said, so what are you going to do next? And I was like, I don't know. He's like, what do you want to do? And I was like, I want to help people. And I meant it. And, you know, God allowed that to be my reality. And from that point, I think saying that out loud was so important because I didn't know, but I did know at the same time. I just wasn't asked the question. And from that point of being a senior in high school and beginning my journey of really finding who you really are beyond the boundaries of K-12 education, I've just been on a path of doing that exact thing in different capacities. I mean, everything I do, everything I touch is definitely helping people in some form or fashion. At least that's what I try to do. There's still times where I'm not as helpful as I could be, but I think that's just nature of life, not always being black and white. But from my volunteerism, in so many ways, community service, church volunteering, the work, vocation, and then coaching. Getting with you last year and really having the conversation to really deep dive into coaching. And then if you think about synchronicity and thinking about someone that we've had on the show who we really probably could get on here even more frequently, Sonya, Sonya Ware, you know, that connection and that being an offering that we were able to share. and having her come to our Millennial Community Board meeting and just talk about how we can continue to develop ourselves as a group and individually. And so there's so many moments of seeing the synchronicity and seeing the happenings and seeing the engagement flow. And I think to wrap this up for me is that not being afraid is the real key. You know, having the faith of trying, you know, not having the fear of leaving things on the table, I think is been where I've been able to really dive into my purpose. And I can say that, you know, as we talk about in the shows, intersection of personal and professional development is literally where I live. I think everything that I do when I wake up to when I go to sleep is the same, you know, in terms of it being in line. And I love everything I do, the good, the bad, the ugly, and I'm very grateful for it. And it only happened because I started to walk down the path of letting go.

John: Letting go. Letting go of preferences, of the expectations of the result, and just trusting life's flow. And man, I'll tell you what, bringing up Sonya, That is, you know, something that meeting, that meeting was such a major synchronicity that, you know, even opened up coaching for me. And in my eyes, you know, that was a, you know, such an amazing session and, you know, strategy session for the leadership team. But also, you know, personally, we were doing a lot of looking at our own contributions, our own beliefs about, you know, the way that we were moving forward. And, you know, I'm glad that we both engaged with, you know, not just that session, but our interest in facilitating sessions like that ourselves, you know, to lead to where we're at today. And, you know, these, when these people come into your life, when, when these, you'll notice like something's different about this moment. And it feels different for a reason. You know, we're talking about synchronicity here and engaging life's flow. And, you know, I love that you said letting go because it requires, you know, surrendering to the process. It's like not trying to control. the outcome, but seeing something as, you know, this feels different. Let me explore it. Let me explore it. Let me overcome the fear and, you know, of uncertainty and stay the same, you know, and staying the same and step into something new. And there are, my process of this happening, I can think of several moments in my life where there's been a strong message that has come to me and I've just pushed it back. I've just ignored it. I've said, Oh, not right now. Not right now. And I can even think back as, and sometimes life was just like, Nope, like this is where you're going. You know, when I got my scholarship to Penn State, I was in a study hall in high school, and I just wanted to hang out in the study hall and play games. And my girlfriend at the time was like, no, you're coming to this meeting with me. They announced it over the loudspeaker. like come to room so and so anyone that's you know applied to penn state or wanted to there's interested in penn state come to this room for an information session i was like no no no i'm good i'm gonna keep hanging out here she's like nope get up nope get up and said Good thing I got up because I met the multicultural director of the College of Earth and Mineral Sciences and that is who ended up getting my name in the bucket for the scholarship that brought me through Penn State and Right, it's like if I was aware and engaging the flow, you know, maybe I'd have been like, uh, you know, okay Maybe I will check this out, but I was it was a vehement. No, I I was not wanting to go. And life was like, nope, you need to go there. You know, same thing with Eastern philosophy, me getting into yoga, meditation. I mean, I had a friend hand me a copy of the Bhagavad Gita, you know, the key to Indian spirituality, like when I was, I don't know, 15 or something like that. So that was a little drip. And then when to, and then this, What I said about experience earlier happened in college, in Eastern Philosophy class. And it was a chapter from that book talking about the union of the field and the knower. And for everyone that is arbitrary for it, that are we the one that experiences, or is there just experience itself that exists?

Tony: Right.

John: And I'm like, so, okay, so if we're just experience itself, let me just have this broad way of experiences and start stepping into things. I had no idea about synchronicity at that time, but that's really what it is. It's like I started practicing it before even reading about it or, you know, wanting to step into engaging the flow of life and surrender. And, you know, that led to, like I mentioned, meeting you. The philanthropy work it led to me being like you know what? Yeah, sure I'll check out. I'll check out yoga. Why not and that was another thing My roommate in DC taught yoga went to yoga all the time. I was like no no I'm not doing it girlfriend at the time when Dio go all the time. Nope. No, I'm good. It's not for me talking like two, three, four years maybe. And then I was like, all right, you know what? It's been coming at me this much. I'll check it out. I fell in love with it immediately. Right? It's like, so that was life being like, Oh, you got to do this. You got to do this. And then, you know, it happened. But now I consciously engage with these things that keep coming up. They keep giving me subtle messages. It's a big part of my life now.

Tony: You know, the book The Alchemist kind of talks about that a bit too because in The Alchemist, the character, I think it's when he meets the king and it's like this old wise king and he tells him, and it could be a different character, there's a lot of characters, but he tells him that when you are trying something new, life has a way of making it really easy for you. So when you think about that, like for people who are like, well, I don't understand synchronicity, or I don't believe in that, or I do believe in it, but how does it work? Pay attention to what is easily being drawn to you. That's the thing. Synchronicity is not hard to find because it's right in front of you. Whatever's right in front of you that you're just not paying attention to, and I'm talking opportunity, I'm talking people. Like if you've seen somebody twice in your life that you probably should have connected with, that is an opportunity to do some synchronicity right there. That's exactly what I'm talking about. So like for me, whenever I'm in a… I think about people, right? Because I think people are the biggest… key to synchronicity because people are all over in the world, right? It's like opportunities, you know, material opportunities is one thing, but the people is totally different. So when I meet somebody or if I'm in an environment and somebody is like, they're radiant to me, like their energy is connecting or even just it's drawing me in some kind of way, I find a way to talk to them. And that is what a lot of us just don't do. That's the first, like, that's one of the first things right there. Because you know when you really need it. You know when you feeling like that energy connected to people. A lot of people don't, just don't know what that is. Like you think, Oh, like this person's special and I'm connecting with them in this way where I'm hearing them differently and I'm feeling what they're saying or I'm picking up what they're putting down, but I'm gonna leave because I'm hungry and I'm gonna go to lunch or I'm late to another meeting, whatever it might be. Like, that's just human nature, right? We just do that. But if you go with that first instinct of saying, let me go talk to them, like the sacrifice of your next appointment or your your hunger or whatever your five minutes that's going to cost you to talk to them, probably less, because most people don't have that much time. It's more of the connection to then further opportunities you're trying to do. Man, it can change your life, really. Like you talked about meeting me at the event, which obviously is vice versa. I'm sure at the event, I probably did that with you. I'm like, man, this guy is like really on it. Like he's saying what he's, we're saying the same thing. And so we further connect and here we are. You know, and same thing with Sonya. When I met Sonya, that was at a retreat for a program that I was in. She did, which she actually did, a Gallup strength session. That's what got me into strength. It was really then, and that was like 2016. So meeting her there, I can tell you, it was probably 25 of us. Everybody didn't connect with Sonya after that. You know, an opportunity was there to do that. But I just felt it in my spirit to to do something. And this is a little off script, a little bit from synchronicity, but not really. I just want to make a point that if you are the person that needs the mentor or if you are the person that needs what the other person has, it's your job to connect to them. I think we have that totally backwards. A lot of people think you know, nobody helps me, nobody, you know, mentors me, you know, whatever. It's not their job to find you, it's your job to find them. And that's a part of synchronicity again, because you, from your brain and your eyes, have to go to the person and find them and pay attention and make the ask and make the question or pick, you know, make time for the lunch, even pay for the lunch, like whatever it is. You know, when I, saying it's so funny, When I further continued my relationship with Sonya, I paid for her time. I don't even know if she even wanted me to. It doesn't even matter. I made an effort to make the relationship real. She was my first coach or executive coach. I made it real, you know, and now we, from there we built a friendship and she's obviously a great mentor to both of us, I believe. Yeah, for sure, because we, you know, we, great relationship, but it didn't just happen with her, it happened with other people. I remember going to a lunch with, I went to this luncheon for a program, and it wasn't a program, it was a organization. That was a part of, but not really, right? I just kind of signed up and I was in it. But I went to this big luncheon and I'm late. I get there and it's like right after college. So I'm like trying to get trying to do my networking thing, but I'm super young and I don't really know how it works. I'm trying to park downtown, all types of crazy stuff. So I get down, I get there, I'm late, I sit, all the tables are full, and you know, forget it, right? Synchronicity. I walk right into the middle of the dinner, luncheon thing, and I sit at a table that was like vaguely empty, and I sit right next to this guy, and I look at this guy, And I'm like, man, this guy looks important. Right. And so I said that. But, you know, I'm like, well, I'm not going to be awkward. I just got here. I'm late. I'm not going to be like, how are you doing, sir? I'm Tony. You know, so I just wait and I'm sitting there. And within like 10 minutes, that guy, they call his name to the stage and give him this huge award in front of everybody. And I'm like, I'm seeing this and I'm like, man, I'm sitting next to the guy. And he comes back and I'm like, congratulations. You know, I shake his hand and he's like, thanks. Yeah, I got to go because, you know, I got to run to something else. Busy guy just got this huge award. And in that moment right there, synchronicity occurred where I said, can I have your contact information? I'd love to follow up with you and go to lunch or something, something, something along those lines. And he exchanged it with me, no problem. I pursued the relationship and that was maybe 2014 and 20, yeah, 2014, 2015. And that guy, has been one of my biggest influences and mentors ever since. And we built a great relationship by going to lunch, by, you know, communicating. I even served on a board and replaced him on a board. Just so many things that has occurred from there to where I recently went to San Diego and I got a chance to, he just moved from Houston to San Diego. And ironically, Synchronicity, I was in San Diego for a conference, guess who I stayed with? Him. And it's like, that's just a full cycle story of Synchronicity happening. And it occurred in the moment where I made the ask to say, before you leave, because you're about to jet, you know, and this isn't even probably the best way to say this, you know, but can I have your contact information? And it don't have to be perfect, because that's not what synchronicity is about. It's about action and awareness.

John: That's right. Oh, so good. Action and awareness. What other way to, you know, encompass engaging like you engaged the opportunity that was in front of you? You could have sat there. You could have not said anything.

Tony: Mm hmm. Done it so many times. I'm sure we all have.

John: yeah and life would have been so different there's and you know that's the thing you know we we haven't talked about that just yet but it's you know taking the action one but two the awareness you know a lot of times we are you know running around where they're running in our minds just so much going on with What do I have to do after this? What is so-and-so thinking? Thoughts bouncing forth, bouncing forth, back and forth, back and forth, monkey mind, monkey mind. And when you're in the monkey mind, how can you see the synchronicities? You know, how do you see those subtle moments of like, huh? You know this this person is interesting. Like maybe they have a life lesson for me or something That's you know, you just don't have that thought if say, you know, you're consumed in your mind with oh, I'm late I'm late. I was late and what's everyone thinking about me? Everyone's looking at me right now I just need to be silent like and you're spiraling and you know you're not thinking like oh let me uh let me exchange contact information so i think it's a big part of engaging life's flow and you know surrendering to the messages and the signs that you know are given to you from you know, whatever higher power that you're thinking of, like in order to see them, you gotta have a quiet mind or at least be working on a place where, you know, you're finding some space to see the subtleties, to see the subtle messages that you can engage.

Tony: And you got to ask yourself, what do I have to lose? We are on this rock together. What do I really have to lose?

John: I mean, when it comes down to it, when you think about the actual fears of engaging with life, you know, of engaging with the synchronicity, it's not that scary. It's not life or death. You know, you're, if you want to put yourself out there, if you want to engage with life in a way that's going to create something beautiful for you is you got to let that go. You got to surrender to the way that you're going to move through life and just let that leave it up to the universe. Leave it up to God, you know, and that doesn't mean you're indifferent. That doesn't mean you don't care. That doesn't mean you're not engaging. That means you're fully engaged. It means you're fully engaged, but you're like, it's okay. The result is okay. It's going to be perfect. The results going to be perfect. What, no matter what it is. So let me just, let me play the game.

Tony: That's it. You know, um, I always started this practice. I think it was 2019. So about four years ago. And I just say every day is practice, you know, every day is practice. So just treat every day like it's an opportunity to practice and just be, you know, as opposed to having all this high stakes pressure on yourself all the time. And for people out there who are Still trying to figure out how to engage with the flow state. Understand that when I talked about looking at what's in front of you, realize that there's a piece of connectedness that's happening too with that. It's not just what's in front of you, it's what's pinging to the next thing or what's pinging to the past. you know, what's pinging your brain based on what you're feeling or seeing in the moment. And it may not be something that happens every day, but, or every, not every day, but 24 hours of the day, it may not be something that's happening 24 hours a day, but it could be. You know, for me, I see numbers sometimes. Numbers, I'll see a number that sticks out and it just is confirmation of something. Like if I'm in a state of anxiety, which, happens to us all, but if I'm worried about something and then I'll see, you know, like a message in a movie or a message in a song or a message in whatever it may be, like I said, a number, a billboard. I mean, you can find that synchronicity happening in so many different ways. And like the higher you're vibrating, the more you see it and feel it. And it just starts with, like I said earlier, awareness.

John: It does start with awareness and I like where you went there with your vibration as well. And I just want to give one example of that recently is practicing gratitude is a huge way to raise your vibration. And by saying raise your vibration, it's really just more positive energy in your life, in your day, right? And the practice of gratitude is a huge way to increase the positive energy of your day. And recently I wrote I actually wrote a gratitude letter to Sonya and just about like, you know, how, how grateful I am for, you know, her support mentorship. And, you know, I love how she keeps coming back into this episode as a, a key synchronicity for both of us. And, um, man, you know, I'm, it was great to see, you know, her response and what it did for her and her day. But man, that it totally amplified my vibration, my, the positive energy that I felt throughout that day, the halo effect. on writing that letter was incredible. And through that, I saw so many things that were going right with my life. So many things that I could be grateful for, that I appreciated, that were signs to, you know, that I'm on the right path, like being in that state. So I'm really glad that you brought that up because increasing the positive thinking, the positive vibes in your life, along with the awareness will help more synchronicities come to light and help you engage with them without fear.

Tony: Hmm, so good. You're making me want to write her a letter. I feel like, you know, to go to some of the pieces of the book, The Celestine's Prophecy, which we talked about, you know, prior to recording, the author talks about how there's a concept called the control drama. And the control drama is the way that you utilize control as a way to move forward through life. And what happens is that sometimes you can use your control to even manipulate people. You're trying to manipulate people. And as you have that control drama and you're trying to manipulate people or intimidate people, you're blocking your energy from being able to fully engage with the flow. And one thing that I really liked that he mentioned in that part of the book was that when you let go of that need to control, not let go of control. It's one thing to let go of control and is another thing to let go of the need to control. So what I mean by that is control is Decisions. I'm going to wake up at this time, I'm going to go to this event, I'm going to speak to this person. That's decisions, that's you controlling your decision, controlling your time, controlling your actions. The need to control is saying, if things don't go like this, then There's gonna be a problem, you know, or if things don't go like this, I'm not gonna be happy That's two different things. That's you feeling like you need to control everything in your life And what he talked about is that when you're able to release the need of control You can connect with people on a deeper level receive the help that you need and the guidance that you need and also reciprocate that energy and give it to others.

John: And there's just two key themes that keep running through this episode and it's, you know, letting go to engage. And, you know, it feels like in, you know, normal course of language that those words would be in opposition. but it's really letting go of the outcome and Expectations like you mentioned and even that you know that need to control it's like what are you? you know, what are you trying to protect yourself from with that need and You know, how is that supporting your development? It's not Wow Surrender let go to engage take action notice the subtle signs of and why not engage with them? Why not explore it? Is the better question. Why not explore what comes up in your day-to-day? You never know where it could lead you. Alright my friends, this was a really core conversation to the way that we live our lives and what's led us here to this point. What's led us here to speaking with you guys every week and the present professional is You know, we've engaged what we were called to, and this is part of it. So thank you for coming along on our journey. And we're excited to see, you know, what starts to happen in your life as you engage with the subtle signs, as you engage with the little things and start to release that need to control, release your fears and step into the flow of life. Because why not? Thank you so much for being listeners. Rate us and review us anywhere that you get your podcasts and where you're listening right now and check us out on the presentprofessionalpodcast.com. We'd love to hear from you and don't hesitate my friends. Take care.