John: You're listening to The Present Professional, where we explore the intersections of personal and professional development.

John: To change your experience of life and work with every episode.

Tony: So tune in, grab your notebook, and let's go. Let's go.

John: Welcome to another episode of The Present Professional. Today, we have a special guest with us, Jessica Patterson. We've been wanting to have her on the show for a long time now. And with this show specifically talking about the reality of wellness in the workplace. And she's been such a stand for this when it comes to different communities and what she's been doing throughout her corporate career and her tagline. is bringing calm to chaos. I'm going to let her introduce the many ways that she does that across different parts of her work and life.

Jessica: Thanks, John. Like everyone said, I am Jessica. My middle name is Valentine, so I often go by Jessica Valentine. It's a family name, it's my grandfather's name, and it really inspires all of the work that I do. I work full-time for a large global consulting firm. working in change management and training internally and I also have my own company wise woman co which provides group programs individual experiences as well as an annual retreat and I also have business clients for example a Pilates studio that I'm recently helping transform from the inside out who who was led by a dear friend of mine who unfortunately passed away in December of last year. And so it's an honor to support and develop her legacy in the reality of business and intention. So at a high level, for those of you who like themes, I do a lot of work in strategy, operations, people development. But I think that our lives and our careers are something that we create. And I'm lucky to have created mine and teach you a few of the same ways and techniques of how to do so for yourself.

Tony: Wow. That's amazing. I want to comment and just say that Jessica and I have known each other for a while. We're both fellow Lumberjacks SFA. And when you talk about creating your life like that's such a powerful place to start, because I feel like there's some synergy there just watching you do that. And even me as well, having some of those same principles, I'd love to know What is some strategies right there when you talk about creating your life? Because I think that's where a lot of people need to start from or want to start from. But how do you actually do that in real life?

Jessica: I think in real life, it comes from knowing what you don't like to do. And knowing that sometimes, even in what you don't like to do, there's always that gritty side of work, even if it's a role that you love. It's a part of your growth. But I really subscribe to the notion and philosophy of 168 hours in a week. by Dr. Laura Vanderkam. I read the book, led a book club about it many years ago, but it talks about how instead of focusing on the scarcity mindset, the 24 by 7 by 365 daily to-do list grind, can you step out of that and get into a weekly rhythm? And instead of focusing on how many hours you work or sleep or work out, if you do your own math and create your own budget for your time, you actually realize that you actually have an extra two days. So how you spend your extra two days in the week outside of work and family and the roles and responsibilities that you have is your business. And some people want to do that at a slow pace, and that's great. And other people have awakened to some of their purpose or maybe studying and diving into enhancing their skills. That's how you actually do that is by outlining and creating tactically 168 hours in the week. and seeing how and where you want to spend it. Of course, that changes in different seasons of your life and with different elements like children and relationships and all of those good things, but it's knowing what's important now and knowing where you're growing and knowing where you're going. A lot of people, I think traditional human resources in the workplace, and I say this with full respect to everyone in the HR profession, When you go to work, HR doesn't give you the resources holistically for your life to say, let's look at your personal and professional growth plan. One, half of that is none of their business. You're here to do a job and have a career. But the other part is, let's just, instead of annual or mid-year performance reviews, also support our people by saying, Tell me about somewhere you're growing personally in your life if that's of interest. If you're truly investing in people, investing in their personal growth and providing corporate resources helps them also be successful and also feel a little more inspired to not only produce more or be more productive, but to really be a value add to the organization.

John: Wow. That sounds like a lot of that intersection of personal and professional development, it really feels like that's where the world is going now. That providing that edge in the workplace now is being able to let your work life contribute to your home life. In what ways as your career evolved, I'd love to hear a little bit about your background and how that evolved for you to where you're bringing more of your authentic self and personal life into the workplace and letting the workplace contribute to your personal life. How's that journey been for you?

Jessica: Wow. Well, my very first job was being a sorority consultant. Many people laugh at that and are like, what are you doing? Are you partying or socializing? What I did for the first two years of my career out of college was I got on an airplane and I traveled to 28 different states across the country, including Penn State, which is one of my favorite campuses. Wow. Mm-hmm. And I got to see different, you know, an organization with similar values and principles and leadership, and then also got to assess from a growth perspective. It's so fun to geek out with you guys and know that you get it on this, but right, to do what is this organization's strengthnesses and weaks and opportunities and threats and do more individual and organizational coaching. And so that is very much a non-traditional job. I barely made any money. We actually had to do a workshop on how to sell it in a corporate environment, right, of having to share your experience of traveling the country and changing lives and inspiring people into a revenue generating role in corporate. Taking a step back, I come from a lineage of pioneers and educators. My great-grandmother was one of the first nurses in World War II. My dad, by nature, is a coach, but worked at a chemical plant, so has a lot of blue-collar grit. My mom loves educational leadership, so that coach-educational leader is truly in my DNA. After being a sorority consultant, I transitioned into cybersecurity sales. I got that role knowing that I wanted to be in sales, a people person and a problem solver, but not having a clue. of anything in the technology industry or in cybersecurity. I changed my major in college because I hated computer science. So that was me. But I really just kind of shifting, speaking of inclusion, I was in an all female empowered world. This is like mid 2000s, like, you know, 2011, stepping into a male dominated, primarily white, industry where I was told by my first manager that I needed to temper my energy and my personality in order to fit in with the medical related industry. So I was told to feminine it down and at the same time I went through yoga teacher training. And that experience changed my life. So I've had this hybrid career at a high level, 12-plus years in technology, primarily cybersecurity, working in a sales role, working in an organizational strategy role, building an intern program, rural people programs, to then shifting back into consulting and then into change management through my own lessons, learning, and experiences. And I think I was able to evolve in a nonlinear way because I knew what I wanted. And I was also never afraid to step out of my own boundaries or my own comfort zone. So I encourage those who are listening, if you have a dream and in a career where you really want to find your calling, a great book is The Crossroads Between Should and Must. If you don't like reading or don't like making time to read, there's a four-minute YouTube video and an hour-long TED Talk. But it's by El Luna and it talks about everyone has a job, a career, and a calling. You need to know which one you're in. That book changed my life because I realized like, oh, I'm not in the right job or I am in the right career, but what is my calling? And I've never been afraid to lean into the what I'm called to do. And I think that that got awakened through the power of yoga and my relationship with God and spirituality. So I think that a lot of people who are searching for a purpose are really searching for their spirituality and however they define that, like whatever God means to them. I think, I think we need more spirituality in business and we need more people to wake up to their own purpose in order to be a present professional.

Tony: Wow. How do you follow that up?

Jessica: There's one more thing I want to say. I realized too that when working with clients and just having friends and having been at this for over a decade, that it is a real struggle in the workplace if you have a manager that tells you no. And if I can't count on two hands, how many times I've been rejected by someone saying, no, Jess, you can't do that. You're not in HR. You're not a learning and development person. Like you're not that. And it's, I think we all have to have the courage to know who we are, then say who we are and then just be with the right people. to get the right opportunities to open doors for us. And that's the power of networking and building relationships is being with people who see your skills and help you grow and can open doors for you, even if you get told no, or when you get told no.

John: It sounds like the connection to God, the connection to your practice, your spirituality, is helping you take those steps to move forward with faith over the fear of that rejection, the fear of the no, the fear of being put in that box. that you know what else if not just that did you lean on to help you move forward.

Jessica: That's what I primarily share in my practices and coaching program. After learning what it's like to job search, you can do a traditional job search where you have the attitude or right fixed mindset of, oh, this is hard. Oh, I keep getting told no, like all of that, or the growth mindset of what's my intention for this job search? How do I want to feel in this process? And this is for anyone, especially right with playoffs, et cetera, going on or who's wanting to make a change, write yourself congratulations letter for that new job and how you want to feel and how much money you want to make and what everything is like. And I've done that work with, let's call them non-believers of manifestation or spirituality. And when I get phone calls that say, hey, that really worked. And this is I got the dollar amount that I wanted, I think, especially in my work with women, like we just have to raise the bar and claim what we feel like we're worthy of. And so doing being that guide and being that person that self reflect self worth. Is um, and I think you can do that as a friend I don't think you you really need a coach to mirror that in my opinion Because i'm a firm believer that healing happens in co-creation And on the topic of wellness at work We have so many great wellness programs And let's be real We are burned out from them and often in my experience I don't participate in wellness activities in the workplace. Why? For me, because I need to be focused on my role in adding value, and my responsibility is to take care of myself throughout the day. I call myself in my practice a chief energy officer. I am responsible for my energy. If I have a bad attitude or energy that I don't want to create when I'm working behind my laptop or when I'm studying, that gets applied to whatever the project or program is that I'm working on. And so I think that this is all about energy management and one being self-aware and then being able to pull back and say, what do I need now? And give that thing to yourself.

John: Energy management. So huge. The chief energy officer.

Jessica: Be your own CEO. I also think that many people look to the workplace for their place of, and this comes from principles of adult learning. At the end of the day, you're responsible as a professional for your own well-being. My choice for my working way is to work within a certain, time frame and also focus on my well-being when I'm giving too much energy or taking too much energy. And that's the practice of brahmacharya in spirituality, right, is intentional energy withdrawal.

Tony: How do you work or deal with people or help people where they don't know how to set that boundary, where they're in a culture where you do send 3 a.m. emails or you feel like you're gonna get fired or you feel like you're not performing like the other people, but they want to feel how you feel or how we feel. How do you coach people around that? What are some strategies you could give people?

Jessica: Yeah, in my spare time, I am a new gardener. And, you know, I watched a funny Instagram reel last night around, I think it was Boy Meets World, but it was around, you know, sometimes a plant is in the pot and it can do what it can inside of the house. But if it stays there, it's not going to thrive like it would in the earth if it was un-potted in a better environment. I think that individuals need to assess their environment and how long they want to stay. How long can you stay in that environment? Be healthy, be well, be boundary-less. I enjoy working sometimes until 9 PM. I don't do it all the time, but if I really need to get something done and someone's It's a priority for a senior leader. I'm on it too. But choosing how I respond and recover the next day and choosing my thoughts is important. So I would just say, Tony, to really answer your question on that individual, assess your environment, give yourself a time frame of how long you want to stay, and then also understand for yourself, what is the pain of change? Is the pain of change? What is the sacrifice that you're going to need to make to revamp your resume, to schedule time on your own calendar to apply for roles, to set up conversations with mentors, to really put yourself out there in a new way? I think it's comfort zone. And I also think people don't want the pain of change, of making that sacrifice to do the extra behind-the-scenes work that no one sees. That is the true definition of grit and a fun way that i've created to do it is I'm creating something called taco bout change tuesdays where me and someone else meet for breakfast tacos It's very much thing in austin, texas and we like intentionally talk about creating change in our life and where we want to change in our careers or grow our practices and I think you just have to get real with what is the pain? What is the true pain? What is the emotional pain? And then objectively, how can you address it? And then secondly, how can you get the people around you to support you in that growth and transformation? You know, is it your spouse? Is it your someone on your team? I mean, how can you enroll other people in a kind way and what you're up to while still honoring whatever the relationship is or honoring the truth?

Tony: So good.

Jessica: And we live in a pride and frenetic culture. Let me tell you that. And so even a practice that I'm working with is really putting down my phone. And I love my phone for several hours and like going deep in a project, going deep and not always being available for other people. So that would be my first Advice that I would give to people who really struggle with kind of pulling away or assessing where they are and change. Can you just allow yourself to drop some of your own distractions? And if you're willing to give up that distraction, you can actually have what you want and be a little less cluttered, you know, via technology and energetically.

Tony: It's so important for leaders to hear that because leaders set the tone. And so if leaders create organizations that allow that, then the people in the organization can have that piece that you're talking about. So I just, that's a good leadership tip.

Jessica: I would also encourage you, you know, I, having done that practice yesterday, there was an opportunity to do, you know, another project for my leader that I wasn't on. I wasn't on Microsoft Teams. I responded 15 minutes later, and she was like, oh, so-and-so already got it. But I'm like, at the end of the day, go ahead, this other person got it, but it wasn't really meant for me and I'm okay with where I'm at. I think it's also, Tony and John, just knowing your priorities. What's really important to you now and how can you laser in on that?

John: That helps me circle back to energy management. I feel like that's the most important thing when it comes to burnout. It's the most important thing when it comes to dedicating your energy to what you said is going to get you towards the vision that you want. You start writing that gratitude letter of the job that you want, of the future that you want to create. But at the same time, if you're spending that energy in ways that don't reflect that future or the choices that that person would make in the future, you're not going to get there. So when we think about workplace wellness programs and not something that's just extra or an amenity or that feels like, what I hear from folks sometimes is, It's just extra time. It's just adding to the burnout. Like I would rather just have the time back to do more of my work or go home or have more time off. So it's which comes down to energy management, right? So it's like, how do we bring that core component of energy management into this professional and personal development? type education, like what have you seen has been a successful way to help people become aware of and start to manage their energy?

Jessica: Yeah, great question. So I'm leading a global campaign now for Wellness Wednesdays across two organizations. One is a sales organization and the other one is related to pricing and profitability. And we're doing the Wellness Wednesday campaign though off of the Seven Types of Rest by Dr. Sandra Dalton-Smith. And she is definitely someone to look into. The seven types of rest, if you can be specific about what kind of rest you need, you can give yourself what you need to recover. For example, one of the seven types of rest is sensory. Right it going back to technology or even just going back to environments being in a loud coffee shop Whether you realize that impacts you versus being in a quiet room. It's very different And so I think that we need to take the seven types of rest by dr Sondra Dalton Smith and also put it in our inner world Like how loud is your internal environment? How emotional are you? Where do you need support and clarity? And again, that's why hiring a coach is so impactful. That's why going to a secondary space is impactful. But it's also just reminding yourself for your own energy. What is the kind of energy that you want to cultivate in your experience of people, whether they're clients or coworkers or the random person that you meet in an interaction? How can you be kinder to them and kinder to yourself? One of my core values off of a yoga teacher that I practiced with, Brian Kess, is gentleness. And I am often, as a human, not gentle with myself. And I surely am not gentle with others. I am a force. I embody that force. But how can I sometimes be like, OK, that's it for now? And I think that as achievers or people that are performance-oriented, having that level of contentment and being able to slow down and pause, if you can implement a weekly rhythm, I do something every Friday called wins, woes, and wows. What were my wins for the week? What were my woes, my opportunities? What didn't go well? And then wows, what were the spontaneous life moments that brought me joy? And just allowing that reflection for that week, I count the weeks of the years like a nerd, but right, we're on week 18 of the year. But so like for week 18, what happened? How'd I do? Where can I improve? And I think that pause is so critical. And it takes less than 10 minutes. So I would say if you're becoming more conscious, if you're wanting to, you know, really lean into your purpose and be present, find more places to pause and be strategic. My other caveat to go back to wellness in the workplace programs is, especially if you're a designer or a facilitator of those programs, is make programs that are specific and make them efficient. So many people love to talk. I sat in a great presentation on burnout. I saw very few people taking notes, and the presenter did not ask, what is your one takeaway? What's the one action that you're going to do? That wasn't asked. So we're just getting talked at. We're not doing anything, which is why we continue to feel bad. So if you listen to this podcast, and any other personal or professional development experience, get like, what is your takeaway? And how can you apply that to your life and apply that to your work? We're not practicing. I don't think we're not in our own court or in the game of creating change in our own life. And I want to say this for my change management people or not is the three phases of change are chaos, acceptance, and new normal. So if you're in a place of chaos, acknowledge it, and also know that you will be able to shift to acceptance soon. What's going to get you there? And when you're in acceptance, what's going to allow you to be in that new normal until you create more sustainable change and growth? I think acknowledgement and awareness go a long way.

John: the taking the time to pause those kind of macro mindful moments to look at your life look at your week you know outside of just being where you're at in the present moment it's what does the present moment and picture of your life look like right and then I love the advice that you gave on the wellness programs specific and efficient right? And then following that up with applicable something to take away. Like what? What is this? We sat here for an hour. What am I going to do differently this week? Who's going to hold me accountable? So it's these programs that actually start to help create change. And this is why I believe wholeheartedly that there has to be a coaching element of workplace wellness programs, that even if it's just a one hour, 90 minute workshop, that, you know, what kind of coaching psychology are you utilizing to implement the behavior change? Because, you know, it feels like what you're saying is, you know, taking the structure of a coaching session and applying that to the programs, like actually implementing the change.

Jessica: Yes. And even working in a change management role in a global corporation, it is so interesting to me that when you ask people, what are your goals of this? And how will you measure this? That no one knows the answer. And then they're also surprised that I'm asking the question. And I'm like, wait, we're just doing things to do things. That's not the answer, right? We have to make this measurable. And especially in a business environment, we have to see the return on investment for the energy and the right level of proficiency of this program or of this project.

Tony: It's interesting that even a global company, it doesn't matter the size, it seems like it's more about the energy and the people that are implementing these programs than it is about anything else. You can have the budget, you can have the size, you can have the team, but it seems like the energy is the one piece that's going to turn the wheel in the right direction. Would you agree with that or is there more to it than that?

Jessica: I would agree with that and I would also say that you need to be able to have a leader who can help light the way and create an inclusive and equitable environment for others to be empowered in their roles. I think that culture Culture is the engine that allows an organization to run and if there's broken parts of the culture or individuals feel blocked by not belonging whether that's through microaggressions or Gaslighting in the workplace. I sadly have experienced the impact of workplace harassment this year and so just know that Wherever you are, whether you feel like you're the lead of the project, you're the all-star, whether you're the team member, whether you're the leader, or whether you're someone who feels like they're falling behind, be able to acknowledge within yourself where you add value. And be able to share that with others in order to right move that change forward by having by Re-evaluating your own energy and what you're bringing I think so often I and As a collective we are not grateful about the work that we do Like have you ever written down? I mean we could start right now right before 9 a.m Like what were all the things that you did this morning? How did that support you to appreciate those things that you did? Or did you just, right, show up on the call unprepared and, right, or just rolling with it? And that's okay too. But just knowing what you bring, you know, I think it's intentionality. It's intentionality and measurable results. And having measurable results be both what I call impact and income oriented. and especially if you're an entrepreneur or a health and wellness professional, what is my impact and then what is my income? What are the inputs of what I'm giving? I call something I have, it's called a give-receive cycle. Many of us are givers, but after you give, just like an inhale or exhale, there's a pause, a break, an emptiness, or a fullness. Then after you receive, there's a pause and an emptiness and a fullness. And I think if we can pause in between our output that we give in the workplace or to our homes and relationships and appreciate the work that we did in a way that's humble, but also like helps us grow and then look at how do we make an impact? I feel like I had more value in a coaching session with a client who was really going through something and witnessing their shift than I did working on a 45 plus PowerPoint deck. And that's why that my work lifestyle and career works for me is because I know how to do both. I know how to focus on impact, like how I'm making a difference. I know how to focus on the things, the work, even when if I don't like it, that bring me income. Right and then kind of align the two. So I think it's a give or take I think there's a false reality almost a romanticism with careers at least I had that right graduating college or even graduating high school like oh i'm gonna grow up and Be an adult and go to college and have everything that I need. It's gonna be awesome And it's like no one tells you or prepares you for the difficult life moments or dealing with grief loss or change of a loved one, of a job. So that's why coaching is so important, I believe. And the critical component to a wellness program is because we can't do life alone. And we need a confidential, safe space, physically and psychologically, to be and express our full selves. So I encourage anyone listening to this to find those spaces, to find that safe space, to share where you need to grow in the workplace, and even where you want to grow at home, and really get a plan and get some support to get there.

John: Wow. Can you tell us a little bit more about the work you do with Wise Woman Co. and how you feel like that's been complementing the work that you do in your corporate role as well?

Jessica: Yeah. Wise Woman came from the place of me being 23, that sorority consultant, trying to find a female mentor in a male-dominated world. Where women were competitive and cutthroat and I don't know wanted to go to traditional happy hours And that wasn't me. I did not want to drink or waste my time. I wanted to learn something So that's why wise woman co was birthed and before that it was Something called own it and it was a quarterly leadership panel for women in cyber security So this work, which is really all the good self-reflection leadership development in yoga, John, you've been through teacher training. Tony, I know you're a meditator. All of that leadership work is what I fell in love with yoga with, but that's what I bring to the workplace and to programs that I develop. To me, I need a secondary space to create my own career within Wise Woman. I feel like God is just opening up some things that I can't even explain in my business right now. We launched a physical space in Austin. I had people crying in coffee shops. I was like, you're paying me $250 an hour. We're getting through some good blocks. But as a woman and a person, you just need to save space to release this emotion that you're After doing some bougie coffee shops around Austin, I realized I can't do this. I need a physical space, and so that's the room that I'm coming to you in now. Then I started something called Cardio Club, which came from another place. As you can tell, I follow the breadcrumbs in my own business and as a creative. Cardio Club was something that started by a woman saying, hey, I signed up for a 10K, I'm out of shape, I need to run, but I'm feeling all of these things about my body. And I don't want to do it alone. So I said, yes, I'll do it with you. And then started a run club. And as an entrepreneur, I made like $500 plus on a program to make me accountable to running. So I'm like, that's a win-win. I'm answering the question in a long-winded way, because you can tell I'm fired up about what's going on. But if I was being concise in sharing, Sharing about Wise Woman Co, right now it's being able to offer retreats in Ojai, California, and being able to work with people one-on-one in a safe space on nights and weekends. And getting to help build my friend's business, Caitlin, is super special. Being that intuitive, being the strategy person, being the, you know, how would she do this kind of program, that's a I still can't articulate the goodness of that. There's a teacher training, a Pilates teacher training that I'm participating in, but also auditing and designing in the background. And I never thought I would become a Pilates teacher. And it's really like a Pilates yoga infused thing, but it's super special to see my friend's dream, even though she's passed and transitioned into her spiritual life, come to life. So that's been super special. As you can tell, I'm moved and emotional by it because it's happening tomorrow. But just again, being so close to the impermanence of life and knowing your gifts, I know my gifts. I try to be around more people that appreciate them. And I think that as a professional, if you can do that and make an impact and make an income and design your life, that's one worth living. Not one where you go to work, you draw what you do and you're bored and burned out. That's one way, but you don't have to choose that. You don't have to create that. Get curious around what do you want to create and continue diving into the resources in this work. Because it's beautiful of what an impact you can make. Also, there's a piece with knowing your impact but not needing to push it in other people's faces or worlds. If you're a creative and you have an idea, continue to just have conversations or drop breadcrumbs even for yourself. and people will open up doors if they believe in you and what you have to share and your gifts. But I would say cultivate your gifts and grow in your relationship with God, and you'll continue to live a life and have a career that you love. And one that at the end of the day, at the end of your life, you're like, I did that. I did all I could. I reached my potential. And at the same time, I made a difference along the way.

John: There's something about that that I felt that is something that drove me as well, is the not wanting to meet the ghosts of unrealized dreams on my deathbed, is that the fear of meeting those ghosts of unrealized dreams were greater than the fear of failure. And so then I said, well, what am I going to do about that? And it feels like you have so many things going on. You're making such an impact in many different spaces that are all very much aligned with who you are, that it doesn't have to be a complete compartmentalization. You're not compartmentalizing yourself in any way. I love the way that you still are talking about your income, your intention, career, job, splitting each of these up. But even as you split each of those up, it feels like each of them for you is complementing who you are and what you want to create. So with so many, of course, and with so many irons in the fire, with so many things going on, what are some of the ways that you manage your energy personally to be able to show up in everything that you do? It's remarkable.

Jessica: Thank you. One, I know I can't do this forever. I have the privilege to be educated, to be in a deeply committed relationship, but I don't have children of my own yet. So I know this is a season and I'm fully leaning into that fire. So I think for anyone listening, just honor the season that you're in. If you have young children, that is a different season than if you have children who are graduated from high school or beyond or don't have children. So understanding your elements I think is really important and honoring the season of your life. I know that I can't do everything forever. I know that for me, I'm intentionally building a runway where Wise Woman and the work that I give to my individuals and organizations that I support is what I do full-time. And I know that. And so I'm on that precipice of my leap and I'm ready for it. So I know this is a season of fire and I'm okay with that. And how I keep myself grounded and centered is my garden, which I never knew I would love so much. There's also science behind gardening and growing your food. I also really love to cook. I come from an Italian family. and have a full-blooded Italian grandmother who I just love so much, who gives me a lot of wisdom. I also remember, I am a girl who grew up in a town called Texas City, Texas. If you've been there and know where it's at, it's outside of Houston. It's a great space to be from and it really inspired me to do the things that my parents couldn't do in terms of traveling or taking on different risk in their career because they were young parents at 19 and 20. And so I think that I know my DNA. and I think that I'm grounded in who I am, and it doesn't mean my life is always perfect, there's always typically something sacrificing. For example, my home is not as clean as it usually is right now. That's OK. You know, sometimes my significant other is like, hey, Jess, it's 7 or 9 o'clock at night. Where you at? What you doing? And so just understand that one thing will fall off your plate. That's like a natural part of life and balancing whatever balls you have in the air, right if you're juggling But um, what makes me really happy is 7 a.m. Coffee shop moments where it's quiet And I can nerd out and study Um, so I think that for anyone listening just do Practices that really ground you and who you are whether it is getting outside Like I don't think I think a lot of us are doing what we think we should do because someone else said it was cool where and not really exploring like what would be great like for me. with my season, with my elements, with the things that I'm up to. A lot of wise women, and it's not just for women, it's really about building out the feminine in business, but a lot of wise women are studying, are doing career, job transitions, or have something else on their plate. I think that that's unique, is just knowing what's important to you now and being grounded in who you are and doing the things that you like to do.

Tony: You know, I got one more question for you. Maybe a burning question. What would you say to the little girl out there that's afraid of the future or even the the adult woman who feels stuck? You know, she's hearing all this great advice, but she still feels stuck. Circumstances have her stuck. Maybe it's in her head. What advice would you give to them?

Jessica: I would say, sister, look in the mirror, tell yourself truly how beautiful you are. You could look in your own eyes and say, I am beautiful. I am not broken. I am blessed and begin to affirm yourself. Sometimes when I leave the house, I look at my mirror and I'll do that to myself and say something, something true. But I think being able to hold your own reflection is powerful. And to do that in a mirror as an affirmation or to do that in meditation Or in rooms right with like-minded individuals who you can safely say and share who you are So that's a practice, but what I would exactly say to her Outside of the mantra is that it's okay to struggle And it's normal To feel this way. I would normalize it. I don't think enough of us like take the darkness and acknowledge and work with it in order to transform it into light. I think it's okay to not be okay and to say that I know it's hard right now and that I know you feel like you want to give up and you can't get through it, but I'm here with you and we're going to get through it. That's what I would say to anyone. I'm preaching so much, you guys just had me on fire this morning. But I really think that we have to understand that mental health and emotional well-being are things that we don't know how to deal with on our own. And so to get professional resources, like a therapist or a coach, especially if you're in the workplace, like really lean on the resources. We have so many, but we don't raise our hand to ask for help. So ask for help and be real with yourself. In a funny anecdote, I had, you know, someone was sharing in a session yesterday, they're a yoga teacher and they're like, Jessica, I have to tell you something I've never told anyone else. I'm like, what's that? They're like, I vape. I vape and I lead yoga. And I'm like, So what? So what? Your secret's out there. It's not a big deal. You're vaping. You want to do that or not? Your choice. I just think that we need to stop hiding parts of ourselves. You can delete this out too because this is long-winded. The less we hide ourselves, the more we can be okay to be with our, what I call sun and shadows. Shadows are the subconscious of what we're not addressing or what's not working, but really eating at us. And then in the sun is like, what's good, what we want to amplify, but allowing yourself to be a whole person and know that it's okay that everything's not always great in your world. And that sometimes even as a coach and a leader that your inner self talk needs to be challenged. That you're, and I honestly think that we need in the coaching industry and leadership development, more people who genuinely care about other people. I think that's the power of YouTube is that you really care about your clients. Not everyone does really. Not everyone does. And so if you can be in a room, And I know this having been in person with both of you, right, with Tony or with John, like, that's a special space to be in. Why? Because they've done the work, they've done their studies, and they can see and support you for who you are and who you want to become. I think that being around caring, compassionate people, that's a space for healing, whether that's a yoga studio or a church. Find those spaces for healing, spaces where you can fully be seen, you have no shame, and realize that you are loved and supported as you are as a whole human being.

John: Thank you. Thank you for one that acknowledgment.

Jessica: Yeah, you're welcome. You also need to listen to if you haven't. You know, I love E.T., the hip hop preacher. I'm never in a super funk. I just put on some E.T. and like, that's good. But I would say build your resources. Huh?

Tony: I say he'll wake you up.

Jessica: Yeah. And one of my lifetime goals is like to meet Oprah one day. Um, but I think that we just need more inspiration and light in our life and we need to start the day looking at the light in our life, looking at, you know, God's spirituality, looking at, you know, the house that we have above our heads. Right. And, and really found founding and rooting our being and gratitude is so critical because then you can go for more. You can be content with what you have, and you can go for more. Unapologetically, I think too many women, and especially minorities in the workplace, are apologetic for who they are, how much they know, or what value they add. We're afraid to say, well, I did that, or I deserve more money, or I need to be paid for my value. So be less apologetic. And the other thing I have to say is sometimes when you're going through a change or a transition or you're creating a business, you don't need to tell everyone your business or what you're changing. Let it be sacred to you. Let yourself hold it. People aren't going to understand why it's not their thing. It's not their thing. My parents, I love them. They called me the other day and said, we're concerned. We're concerned about your level of side hustle. I'm like, I hear you. I hear you. Thank you. But it's not your thing. It's okay for you to not get it. But you can love me with what I'm going through and the change that I'm creating in my own life. It's going to make you uncomfortable. If it doesn't make you uncomfortable, I'm not actually going for it. I would much rather go for it and make myself and people uncomfortable, but be at peace with myself. and be at peace with my efforts and my intention.

John: All right. That's right. Wonderful. Now, just a couple, a few like rabid fire questions here to kind of bring us to conclusion. What's one, if you could recommend one resource or book to someone listening right now that has made the biggest difference for you, what would it be?

Jessica: I mentioned several in that conversation, 168 Hours by Laura Vanderkam, Seven Types of Rest by Dr. Sandra Dalton Smith, and The Crossroads Between Should and Must by L. Luna. But I really think the most important book for you to write is the one of your own life, of your own lessons, of your own wisdom. Whether that's through journaling or voice memos, getting to be your own author and your own creator. You can create your own chapters. You can start with the one you're currently in and see where you want to go, but I think that that's important. That's important for us to look at our own wisdom instead of looking outside of ourselves. We can look, yes, for the learnings and the teachings, but we really need to go within and say, how does this apply to me? Where does this move me? How do I want to go forward? Write your own book. Those are three resources that I like. But guess what, you guys? I need to write my own book too, so that'll be my action plan. I got on a panel a few months ago at the University of Texas, and I told the presenter next to me, I'm like, you need to write a book. They're like, where's yours? I'm like, okay, I hear that. So anyways.

John: Challenge accepted. All right. Awesome. If you were to give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be?

Jessica: I just really think loving who you are is what I would say.

Jessica: Love who you are. Yeah.

John: Love it. Love it. What's one thing that you see for yourself that you want to put out there in the next five years that you want to put out into the universe right now to hold you accountable?

Jessica: Can I go with five things? That's probably more accurate.

John: Uh-oh. More reflective of where you're at right now.

Jessica: Man, I would say the first one is continue to grow and deepen my relationship with God and spirituality and help awaken others to that purpose and that power of a higher power. That's primary number one. Number two is become an amazing wife and mother and leader in my home. Mother Teresa said, if you want to create change, it starts at home. Love that. So creating my own family. which is so feminine of me and I'm just going to lean into it. The third thing that I want, we'll put the book out there. I think my workbook on workplace well-being, change, leadership, how does this apply to your life, that's got to come through. I really want, my fourth would be having my own studio, co-working space. That's larger than my, I think this room is like 400 square feet. It's not very big. Like I need a place for workshops and so having a physical space, a larger physical space. And then five, man, writing a cookbook. So random, so fun, so good. So that's, that's on my plate in five years. I think we can do it. And, uh, it's interesting having, you know, Tony been in your sphere for the past 12, right. Or longer. We were both racing leaders at Stephen F. Austin. It's been long. Did you go, did you start in 2007? Yep. Yep. So to see, just to see and allow, I think my five or six is like, just to let my life unfold because I know that, you know, if I would have told my collegiate self, Almost 15 years ago, this is what I would be doing now. I would have never have created the path for cybersecurity meets yoga meditation meets coaching and change. Just trusting God and trusting life, having it unfold, I think is also what I want for myself in the next five years. And I hope to have really cool kids, specifically a girl, but you know. So, yeah.

John: Wow. Well, thank you so much for sharing all of that. And thank you so much for sharing all of your wisdom, your journey, your recommendations, and authentically who you are with our audience. And I want to ask you, so what's one last thing you want to leave for the audience? And also, where can they interact with you? So where can people find you?

Jessica: Find me on LinkedIn, Jessica Valentine Patterson. I have a weekly newsletter called Weekly Work Wisdom, which I love sending out. And also my website, www.wisewomanwithanaco.org. And let's see, anything else that I want to say? I would say I just hope that this sparked some inspiration and fire within you to create change in whatever that means, like in your season of your life, and just to remember how great and how loved that you are. And I think that when we can continue to do the inner work to let go of any of the Internal lies right or inner critic or limiting beliefs that are holding us back from our greatness Just really stepping into your own presence in your own ability to pause in your own Sense of personal power. I think that if you can live and lead from that place in the present moment then and remember who you are, that you can really allow yourself to lead, and to live, and to love. That's exactly how you're meant to, both dark and both light.

John: Love it. Wow. Well, thank you so much, Jessica. It was seriously just amazing to have you on, amazing to listen to you. I'm always so fired up after a conversation with you, and I hope the same goes for you listeners. So thank you guys so much for tuning in. Rate us and review us anywhere that you're listening to our podcast right now. and interact with us at the presentprofessionalpodcast.com. We would love to hear your feedback, ideas for new episodes, and any other feedback you got for us. So, until next time, my friends.