Tony: You're listening to The Present Professional, where we explore the intersections of personal and professional development.
John: To change your experience of life and work with every episode.
Tony: So tune in, grab your notebook, and let's go. Let's go.
John: Welcome to another episode of The Present Professional. Today, we're here to talk to you about how to get the most out of your networking events. Now, you could be going to this event looking to just connect with people in a new environment. Maybe you've moved to a new city. Maybe you're looking for a new job. Maybe you're looking for your first job. Or maybe you're going to an entrepreneur's meetup and you're looking for some partners and some potentially new businesses to start working with. And no matter what you're going into the event looking for, your number one goal is to connect with people and to connect with people authentically because that's how people can see you, that's how people can give you opportunities, and it's also how you can create partners, where you can have folks that remember you whenever the right opportunity comes up and they need to call your name. So, moving into that, we're going to get started with the preparation, move into in the middle when you're having the conversation, and then closing the conversation to then follow up with your new connection afterwards. We'll let Tony get started with preparing as you get kicked off going into the event.
Tony: Yeah, and I think that, you know, a big part of it is, you know, like you mentioned, your goal is to connect with people, right? So before you go into a networking event, you want to really just make sure you understand that whoever you're walking into the room with is a fellow human being. So we definitely live in a world where now it's like you have your social kind of phone, you know, connections and lifestyle, social media, and then you have your in-person humanity of connection, if you will. So you want to understand that when you're going to a physical networking event, you know, take it back to the 2010s, right? Take it back to the 2000s. Just be present and understand that people are people. Because, you know, you can walk into an event and then you just kind of treat everyone like everybody's a robot or everybody, you know, you look around and you'll see everybody on their phone, which is fine, but understand that you are presently in a room full of people and this is the perfect time to, you know, make those connections in person because it can feel awkward. Especially if you haven't networked in a while or if you don't network as often. I attended a huge networking conference last year and I think the year before for something else and the two times I went to these huge conferences, the people I talked to, we were all like in agreeance like man, I don't have the social stamina that I used to have because of COVID, you know, and just now coming back and being more in the moment in person with people. So just understand that you're not the only one facing that and it may feel a little awkward. So that's the first step to me. It's just kind of getting your mind right and knowing that, you know, it is a different environment if you haven't been out there in a while and if you have been in a while out there networking and you already know what I'm talking about. So first step is to kind of renew your mind a little bit. After that, you know, I think that it's important to kind of set a game plan and depending on what you're going to network for. So you could be networking for just social reasons, which is not the same as business or professional reasons. So you need to make sure that you know that there's a difference. So you can go to a social gathering, have a good time, keep it all organic, make connections that happen and arise on the fly. and just kind of keep it there and just have a good time. But if you're going for business or professional purposes, you need to have a game plan. And that game plan starts with, you know, what is the event? What's the purpose of the event? What's the purpose of you going to the event? Another thing is who's going to be there. So if you have access to a guest list, check it out beforehand, read the names of the people, look them up if you want to know what company they're working for, maybe even their position. You may not get to talk to everybody, but it's good to just kind of know who's in the room and who you're going to be dealing with because different people have different layers of communication and communication styles. And depending on how serious or how busy the people are that you're going to be networking with, they may not have the time to talk to you. So you need to identify that, especially if you are more like lower on a hierarchy of, you know, career wise. Don't expect, you know, a CEO or a CFO or COO or anyone C-suite to just have all the time in the world for you. They may have their own agenda. But on the flip side, don't be afraid to talk to them. So that's the last step I'd say is to have the confidence to know that when you're going into these spaces, you have a seat at the table. You are more than enough. You can go in with your list and know who's in the room and feel confident to talk to anyone and just know that even if the conversation is two seconds, Or if it's two minutes, you can make a lasting impression. If you walk in with the right mindset and have that purpose behind you and not just go in lackadaisical, like, you know, hi, I'm Tony. And then they're like, hi, I'm Brad. And you're just standing there. And I think John's going to talk about how to break that ice and really make that connection strong. So John, anything you want to add to that kind of beginning piece?
John: Yeah, man, well said. And some things can only be prepared for so much. So, you know, if you're thinking about, OK, I need to listen to all the insights I can to get prepared to go to my first networking event. And then that makes you hold off on going to your first event and connecting with your first human for a year because you're preparing. Well, set that aside like the best way to prepare is to go and try to go and just have one conversation. You could say I'm going to go to any event that comes up. I'm going to at least have one conversation. And if you do that on a regular basis, then it becomes two conversations, then three, like then it becomes natural or you're getting invited to certain events. It's the best way to prepare is to practice and Before each of those, right, I certainly agree with you. It's like do whatever you can to learn who's going to be in the room, but then there's also a bit of like looking inside too. Right, you touched on that self-worth piece. That you're enough. No matter, you know, what level of folks that are in the room, like you have a story to share and they also have a story to share. And that's where, you know, I really want to transition into how to start this conversation is get people to share their story. The best way, you know, to start a conversation, especially at a cold event like this, you're going in, you know, meeting someone for the first time. Learn their story. You have to step into this conversation as curiously engaged. And you can have a few questions in your back pocket to just start to open the conversation, right? Hi, I'm John. What brings you to the event today? Easy. It's like, well, I've been and they start talking about what brings them to the event. And then based off what they say, ask them another question. Right. Oh, I came because I wanted to meet new people. I'm new here in the city. Oh, tell me more about your experience moving here. When did you get here? Well, you know, I came from so-and-so, got here this day. It was, you know, like every move kind of, kind of messy. Okay. What did you move here for? Well, for work, professional, personal reasons. You can learn more about what's going on in their personal life. Married, kids, single. Where do they work? What do they enjoy about what they do? What do they wish were different about what they do? Who do they want to connect with and why? Just keep going and keep diving into the curiosity about the human being in front of you. Because if there's one thing that you want to say to yourself as you step into the event before you have your first conversation, it's, I want to learn about this human. How can I be more curious? How can I learn about what makes them tick? What are their goals? Who they are? What's their temperament? And also looking back on yourself to say, you know, is this someone that I see myself connecting with? Is this someone that I see myself in partnership with? And you can also, after meeting someone, determine that you don't want to follow up. You can determine that maybe you're there for different reasons. And, you know, that was the extent of our conversation. And I'll say when you meet someone that you know you're going to connect with and continue to build a relationship with, you will know. Like you will know as long as you're in that conversation, you're curiously engaged to learn about this human. You'll feel it, not just in your mind, like that you know it, but you feel it like in your body, right? Like when I met Tony, I met Tony at a networking event he was hosting. And we talked at the event and it was like immediate. Let's follow up. Let's meet up again. Met up again. All right, let's come on the board. Let's work together. it was it was organic like it just flowed it was a completely random meeting that you just know when you engage in the conversation so i would say plan to every human you walk up to with this couple questions in your back pocket Just get as curious as you can to allow yourself to experience who they truly are and then you'll know how that connection is going to grow and unfold. And if it doesn't, let it go. Let it go and move on.
Tony: I agree, man. And you know, sometimes it's natural. Sometimes it's just perfect fit. You know, you both are there for the same reasons on the same page. And sometimes it's not so natural. You kind of want it to be right. So I think like you mentioned the curiosity piece, I think that's the most important, honestly, because If you are truly curious, then it won't feel weird. You know, if you're truly curious, then it won't feel fake. And it won't be perceived as fake. On the other side, like, why is this guy asking me all these questions? Like, if you're just asking questions, but you're not really curious because you have a motive behind it, it's not hard to detect that. Because if you think about yourself, like, somebody asks you a bunch of questions, you're like, this guy the FBI like why is he asking me all these questions right but you know if you actually are wondering like when I said look at that guest list or look at the people I don't mean that to like start creeping on them, like don't do that. But know like what types of people are in the room so you know what type of questions to ask. You know, one of the most skilled ways that you can connect with someone that I learned is ask about their family, you know. And sometimes people don't want to talk about their family, so it doesn't work for everybody. But if they have kids, you know, find out and ask. Don't find out like creeping on their Facebook, but like find out like you know, by just asking questions to get to know them, like John said, and then that's an easy, easy way to get them to talk and open up and want to really see you as somebody that they remember. Because a big part of all this stuff that we're talking about today is being remembered. Because if you just kind of go in very bland and you're just saying the same script, they may not want to follow up with you or they may not want to connect you to whoever else that you need to be connected to. So you want to make sure that you're asking the right questions, like John said, be openly curious and really mean it so that you can really start to build a relationship because that's what networking is all about, building relationships.
John: And again, there's the discernment piece of it, right? Not everyone's going to be an inner circle connection that you meet. And that's OK. It's OK to respect people on the outer circles of your network, right? And if you just know what someone does, you've connected with them a few times, you know they're great with their work and you can provide a referral or something like that. Fantastic. And that could be, you know, where that person lives in your network, right? Maybe they don't move into the inner circle and that's okay. But it's all going to be established, you know, the foundation in that first conversation. So if you're feeling the nerves and kind of going up to meet someone, have those questions in your back pocket. You know, and maybe you'll have someone that's there that's dismissive, right? Maybe they just came to that networking event because they were supposed to or they were a part of some committee and they're not really there in their minds. But don't let that reflect on you. Just know that that's part of the process. You're going to meet people that are disengaged and you're not going to be one of those people. So just allow that to be present. Allow that to just kind of brush off of you and move on to engage with the next person. And you can start with some of those questions that you have in your back pocket. And that can be specific to the event. It could be specific to the research that you did beforehand about who's going to be there. It could be about, you know, some of the goals of the event. You know, have they been fulfilling on them? Like, what is your experience in the event so far? So you having those questions, stepping up to engage with people, understanding that not everyone's going to be an inner circle connection. But then let's talk about leaving the conversation, because we've all been in places where it's not an inner circle connection and it's not a fit. And the conversation, it feels awkward to end the conversation. Allow that to be the end. When you know that it's not going to build into anything more, you don't feel the connection, you feel the disingenuineness, there's just something off, it's okay. Hey, it was really nice to meet you, but I would love to continue making my way around the event. Done. And that's OK. Then the other side of the coin is, you know, if you do want to follow up or you find that this is someone that I could break bread with, this is someone that I could see a partnership with. You know what? Let's continue the conversation. Now, I would say here, before you pull a business card out or your phone or exchange LinkedIn information or anything like that, like just express that. Express how you're feeling about that. Hey, I think that, you know, we could have a great opportunity for a partnership here. You know, hey, I would really like to continue to connect with you and continue this conversation another time, maybe over coffee or lunch or something, if you'd be interested. Sure, great. Then pull out your business card. Then pull out your phone. Like don't lead with the piece of paper or the phone and say like, hey, because you know what that tells them? Hey, I want to add you to my list. I want to add you to my list. I want to add you as a node to my network. Now, let's talk about where we want to go, how we want to connect in the future. And you don't want that.
Tony: Lead with your words. That's great advice, because no one wants to be treated or feel like they're being used or being seen as a target, you know, or a stepping stone. You can also remember if you forget to make that connection, because I've done that a few times where I've literally just forgotten The conversation was good, we were moving quick, and I forgot to make the connection. I forgot to get the card or ask for the card or any of that. LinkedIn, baby. LinkedIn, you got LinkedIn today. It's just literally there and most business professionals have it. So don't forget to make that connection. And I say make it quick. If you're going to do that, make the connection within 24 hours and send a note in the message of the connection to say who you are, how you met and what you want to do if you want to further the connection. I just did this. recently where I met someone, we had a great, quick, you know, maybe 60-second conversation about a topic, not like, hey, this is who I am, who you are. We were talking about just something that was just passionate. We're both like going there. And then just forgot to connect. And so I followed up on LinkedIn, sent a message and just, we'll see what happens, you know? And turns out we live in the same community and we'll be able to meet up. You know, that's the kind of organic-ness that you want to offer. When you're talking to people and asking those questions, don't be shocked when they flip the script and start to ask you questions. So you want to make sure you have yourself together in the regard of being able to offer something. So when people start talking to you or networking to you or toward you, Add value. Don't just, you know, shy away from being vulnerable to say who you are and what you do and what you have to offer. You know, be comfortable having your own pitch. You know, if you need to practice in the mirror in the beginning beforehand to make sure you have your story together, you know, all those kinds of things is important. And I didn't touch on this, but I will also mention that if you go to a networking event with people or with a partner or two, my advice is to leave them, not like leave them behind, but break away and come back. Break away and come back, especially if they don't have the energy or the excitement to network like you do. Some people go to networking events just to physically go because they got invited. Like John said, I'm on this committee, so I go to this thing. I can't tell you how many times I've been in that position where I've gone to networking events with other people, and I'm like, hey, y'all, I'll be right back. And then I just start working the room, and they're looking at me like, he's talking to everybody, and really I'm not. But I'm talking with people that I may have met at a prior event, or may have seen the community, or even just someone I met right then and just made an immediate connection with. And you can make connections about the smallest things, man. You can see a key chain, you can see the way someone stands, you can see a shoe that reminds you of something. It doesn't have to be all deep. You could say, just simply, Hey, you know, I saw that purple and gold keychain you got sticking out. Are you a Lakers fan? And it's like, I am, man. How did you know? And they're like, I saw your keychain. Oh, man. Who's your favorite Laker player? Kobe Bryant. You know, that's just me. Like, so if you see me and you see, yeah, I'm giving y'all an easy one. But, you know, it's just, it's such an easy way to make a connection with someone. You don't have to be all, like, deep. But those questions, like John mentioned, the way I just gave that example was, Hey, question, answer. Oh, question, answer. And that's how you build a connection and make it memorable. So I want to throw that out there. And don't forget to leave the people. Don't be the fly on the wall with three coworkers and you're just standing there. It's scary to leave them. But if you want to grow and thrive and be of the growth mindset, you have to be able to be that one single Lone Ranger walking around the room making awkward connections to further your career and your life.
John: I couldn't agree more. It's about stepping out of that comfort zone. And what a great way to describe the comfort zone than hanging out with people you know in a room full of strangers. Right? Step out of your comfort zone, get curious, get to know people, and offer to authentically connect with them. And then follow up. Follow up. Make sure that you send that message. Make sure that you stay true to the commitments that you make. Be in integrity with yourself and be in integrity with those that you meet. You say you're going to follow up, follow up. You say you'll send them an email, send them an email. You say you're going to get lunch, set up the date. Stay true to your word, continue to follow up, and get out there and connect. Now you have what it takes to go Effectively connect with people in these events. They're all around your city. If you're ready to connect with people and grow your network, first thing you got to do is get out there and do it. So I hope this was helpful. Thank you again for listening to the Present Professional Podcast. We'd love to hear from you. So check us out at the presentprofessionalpodcast.com. Feel free to reach out to us with any feedback and please rate us and review us wherever you're listening to the podcast right now. Alright my friends, we'll see you next time.